It had been a perfect Sunday for 35-year old David Kayitale of Umurava village in Kicukiro. It had been a relaxed day, spending quality time with some mates in the bar. And of course he was not drunk.

Nevertheless, when he arrived at home, he had to answer an urgent call from nature. The next minute, all hell broke loose. There was smashing, crashing, swearing.

When terrified neighbors rushed in to see what it was all about, they found dear David in the process of tearing down his latrine. The roof went first, then the walls, and finally he attacked the floor. When he had made a man-sized hole, he proceeded by… descending into it.

After a few minutes of slushy noises, daft Dave reemerged, proudly displaying for all queasy neighbors to see his cheap karasharamye phone. Whilst taking a leak, the phone had fallen into the pit, our malodorous man explained, so he had to retrieve it, no?

The phone, however, apparently did not survive its shitty dive – in any case, David couldn’t switch it on. “I’ll take it to the repairer tomorrow, no sweat,” he assured the assembly. He did not specify, however, what he would do with his shoes and trousers.